Things As Women We Should All Know – Day No. 27

We are four days from being done. I said D-O-N-E with this Write 31 Days.  Someone recently (and since I know you are probably reading this, you will know who I’m talking to…) told Mrs. B that I needed to suck it up and quit complaining about writing every day.  I’d like to see you write every day and come up with fresh content….. Now that I have that off my chest…. LOL.

12027540_977067112352002_6221272141493101965_nOkay, so earlier this year I came across this list of 13 Things No One Tells You About Being A Woman By Chrissy Stockton, after listening to the Joy the Baker podcast.  After listening to some of the highlights of the list, I headed over and read the whole thing.

Whoa. Right on.  This list is so true it’s scary.  First off, before you finish reading this post, head over to the list and read it first. Just click that link highlighted above. ……..


Okay, so now that you have read it…. I am not a feminist. I may have a few feminist ideals, but I think more that they are just common sense and equality in certain aspects. But on the whole, I tend to believe that men are the superior sex when it comes to strength, logical thinking (though sometimes I have to revise that when Mr. B is talking) and general fighting and political tactics.  I will honestly say I don’t have what it takes to think like a man. Nor do I want to.

And for the most part, I don’t feel oppressed by a male dominated world, though in all reality, it’s not half as dominated by men as it used to be 30 years ago. Women have made amazing strides with their lives, jobs, and etcetera.  So, again, not really a feminist, but still I felt this list was something that called to me.  Things I have dealt with in the past and still haven’t come to terms with.

Reading off the list in order….. I have had guys say I should do this, or I should do that. I should get rid of glasses, I should change the glasses, I should do this job or that job. Don’t wear this color, don’t have your hair that way. Women telling me I need to marry this boy or that boy or do this job or that job….. It can be kind of stressful fending off these comments.

I like doing things for guys. I want to be the homemaker (sometimes. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind if he would cook…. and clean a little).  I like the “wife/mom” roles in life. I 12107167_1040926229275315_7022155848237296182_nsaw it, grew up with it, my entire family, extended and all, had this as an example. It’s what I know and I like it.  But everyone wants me to have a career and why would I want to be, gasp, a homemaker?

Yep, I’m emotional. Damn right I am. But so what?! So freaking what? That doesn’t mean I can’t think. Sure, I might not think as well when I am emotional, but you telling me that I am this way does not help your case. At all. Mr. B has not figured this out .

While I can’t really say one way or the other if my relationships are deeper with a girlfriend vs boyfriend, I do know one thing, I can talk to my gals about some things that guys just don’t get, or don’t want to know about. We can commiserate together about those ‘times’ we are ’emotional’.

The biological clock thing irks me. Right at this time in my life, I don’t plan to have kids. That seems to really bother people. Go figure.

Number 6. About Moms…. I’ll just leave that one alone for now, but yeah, I agree with it.

Can’t say as I have been in the number 7 category, but I do get it, and I can get a little overboard sometimes.

I am terrible at asserting myself, but sometimes I really need to. And because I’m not good at doing it, it comes out wrong or people are offended because I do say “no.” Sigh.

Well number 9 is a given. If you aren’t sorry, why say it? And I have had to learn that sometimes when people say they are sorry, that doesn’t mean that all is forgiven because they said sorry.

Oh, I am forever feeling like I am pitted against other women. I compare myself to them. But it’s a nasty habit. I am me, and they are them…. We can’t all be alike.

I have been called crazy, but I still feel sane.

And lastly, sometimes I feel like I won’t survive without a specific guy’s approval. Boris in particular. But at the same time, good grief, half of what he tells me I don’t agree with. Why should I need his approval?  It’s something I do, feeling like I need everyone’s approval. I want people to like me, but honestly, that’s where asserting one’s self and not being a doormat comes in as well.

So those are just some of my opinions on the list. I’d love to hear what you have to say. And if you are a feminist, good for you. I have nothing against you personally. I may not agree, but that’s an opinion.  So, who likes this list? Who agrees or associates themselves with what’s on it? Tell me.

Only a few more days to enter the DaySpring Giveaway.  I urge you to enter with the link here  and  follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading!

Someone Amazing – Day No. 24

11048745_909527932422339_4813715533564715054_nThis isn’t to say I’m amazing. While I have my finer points, I still have a long way to go. But just remember, you are amazing too. You who is reading this, and wow, you showed up. :)

Hope you have had a great Saturday, writing away. I wasn’t writing. I wanted to write, but with regular things taking up time, I will have to write tomorrow.  Thank goodness I planned for one quote a week. A chance to ‘cheat’ with this writing thing.  Everyone needs a day off…. right?



Another Persona – Day No. 22

Robert B. Parker had made his character, Jesse Stone, a bad boy, but was R. Parker a bad boy himself? Or did he make Jesse the person he wished he could be sometimes?

As women, we are told to be good. Don’t do anything crazy, or out of societies norms. Don’t swear, don’t sleep around, don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your grandma to know about… Don’t put anything on the internet you wouldn’t want your mom to see at your trial. (this works for guys as well.) Be good. As a good girl myself, I sometimes feel the pressure to always be good. It’s exhausting at times.  Sometimes I want to break all the rules. Kiss a stranger I just met….. oh, wait. I did that. Never mind. He was a good kisser……. Moving on.

As writers, we put ourselves into our characters. We make them expressions of ourselves. But we also make them who we want to be. Or in the exact opposite, who and what we deplore in ourselves. Just take one of your faults and magnify it ten fold. You have a pretty rotten person. We take on another persona by writing our characters. Sometimes it’s liberating to be able to be something else within a character.

The Audrey Swoop

The Audrey Swoop

Recently I have wanted a change. I’ve futzed with new nail polish and styles and new hair styles. Out went the short hair (by short I mean chin length) and now I’m growing it out to see what I can do. Just yesterday I tried a new hairstyle that is so different from what I normally do. I have had bangs all but for a brief time in my early teens. Bangs, and variations of bangs. But I have been inspired by Audrey Hepburn and I’ve wanted to try something different. So, I did. I swooped up the bangs, swirled them around and pulled everything else into place with an up-do.  Just a touch of a cat-eye and whoa. I don’t look like myself . Mrs. B isn’t thrilled, but I love it. I love looking not like myself. There are only so many ways I can live within a character… Why not live a different way myself.

Raggedy Anne From Hell day of the dead....

Raggedy Anne From Hell day of the dead….

This is why I love Halloween. A chance to be something you are not. To take on a different persona.  Last year I went totally out of my element. I ghouled it up and was far from pretty. Scared a few people.  It was fun to be something more than I usually am. Sometimes I would love to do something exotic and gorgeous. Be kind of sexy. I had ideas of trying to do this look that I saw on Dancing With The Stars. It is very cool. But as Halloween falls on a Saturday, and I’m not planning on going out, I’m skipping crazy.  But wouldn’t it be fun to waltz around looking like this?

I feel like if I were to do something like this in my small town I would totally blow people’s minds.  Or if I totally Hollywood styled it up in a sexy dress and did my hair up and not me. Heavy makeup…. Yep, that would be a different persona.  Thank goodness I have my characters to live my life through. That being said, at least I can try my new look sometimes.

So, do you ever want to be something you’re not? Do you write your characters as someone you wish you could be? Tell me.

And don’t forget. is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading!


It’s A Yoga Thing – Day No. 8

There is something about yoga that screams ‘woman’ to me. The lines are long and sensual along with the movement. While yoga was traditionally a male enlightenment thing, it has become predominantly a female thing, especially now. The flowing movement and strength is the epitome of Woman.

I have loved yoga for a long time, though over the past few years, I have not been as diligent as I should be with it.  When I am stretching and flowing through the moves, my lines are long and lean and I can move completely different.  As a joke I read in regards to doing yoga says, “Anyone can bend over and touch their toes. Just bend your knees.”  Sure, you can do that, but oh, to have straight legs and no bend… Now that is what I say is yoga. Okay, really it’s just stretching, but when you are doing yoga, it’s much easier.

I’d say too, that having a yoga muse really helps to keep one flowing and moving. For me, I adore Natasha Rizopoulis, and I first started really trying to be better at yoga when I picked up the first dvd in the Yoga Journal’s    Step by step yoga journal.  Session 1, Foundation poses for strength & stamina, from my library. That was several years ago, and while I have never been able to complete the fifteen minute entire sequence, I still go back to the basics of that routine when I feel the need to get back into yoga. It’s basically a sun salute and then a more in depth sun salute. It’s actually really good.

I also really like Katherine Budig also from Yoga Journal  is amazing to watch. Plus I like listening to her voice. I have found that if you do not like the person explaining the yoga, then you are going to get annoyed. So you have two gorgeous women explaining how to stretch, breath, and move in very graceful lines and I look at them and go, wow. I want to have that strength. This coming from a girl who gave up on the Plank challenge one day into it. I just have not been able to keep it up.

But I feel amazing when I am practicing. I can run better and I just feel more like a

Petra's Yoga Poses around the world

Petra’s Yoga Poses around the world (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

woman. Subtle strength. Something we all have. Inner strength. We may not be able to lift 100 pounds, but we can manage a household and kids and shopping and jobs and a  man and and and….. it’s that inner strength I’m talking about. Yoga is the epitome of that. Don’t you think?

And on a side note; another thing I love is tai chi. Graceful flowing motions that show a control that is rather amazing. I’m not exactly good at tai chi. In fact, I’m quite terrible, but I’d love to be good at it.

What is your thought on yoga? How do you view it in regards to being a woman? I’d love to know what you think.


What’s Coming for October

lady reading silhouetteHello dearies.  It’s the day before October (gasp and horrors) and I’m sitting here panicking as I realize that my plans to write a bunch of posts for my 31 days in October challenge  has just totally not happened. I did my usual procrastinate and said, Oh, I have time, I’ll do it later….. and now, here is later.  Well, oh well. I guess I’ll have to write just like everyone else and just pound out a post a day for the month. Or well, write a couple on one day.

English: Studio publicity portrait for film Sa...

English: Studio publicity portrait for film Sabrina with William Holden and Audrey Hepburn. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay, so here is what the schedule is. For the entire month of October I will be posting about ladies, femininity, and things that relate mostly to women.  It’s not going to be super gushy, for those guys out there. I do have some things that are actually interesting in my opinion; Audrey Hepburn, women poets, Steampunk clothing and women in steampunk….. various thoughts.  Things like that. Just the theme is related to women.  I will have a directory of the posts here —–> 31 Days of October – Femininity & Ladies so if you miss a post, you can just check there. I do have some other non related posts I will being doing as I always have my book reviews. I thought I might get them out of the way before the month, but again, procrastination… and I just received one, so you know.

If you are curious about last year’s challenge, you can find it here —-> 31 Days of Fun, Fanciful, & Functional.  Also, check out Write 31 Days.  If you are interested in a monthly challenge, this is a pretty nice one because there is no theme. You create the theme. There are several categories to fit just about everything in. It’s kind of low key, but at the same time, it is a challenge, so basically you monitor yourself and well, challenge yourself. Joining is open until the 5th, I believe when you can link up and have your button on the site. Also check out their Facebook group if you are interested. It is a closed group, but we are all rather friendly there.

30 Day Plank Challenge - 30 Day Fitness ChallengesAnd lastly, because I haven’t been running due to being iron deficient/anemic/out of breath all the time, I am doing a 30 Day Plank Challenge from the makers of 30 Fitness Challenges.  Last year in March I was trying to do the 30 days of squats, crunches, and situps.  It did not go well due to other health reasons. But I hope to be able to do the plank challenge. Check it out. It’s not horrible and we all could use a strong core.

So, there you have it. One month of a frazzled brain and rushing to get posts done, and drinking too much coffee….  it’s going to be exciting, so I hope you join me. I highly recommend reading each post with a very good cup of coffee. Right now I am drinking an Americano I made with the espresso machine. It’s divine.

Happy October everyone!


Being Beautiful

Pearls, curled hair, yeah, this is my beautiful moment.

Pearls, curled hair, yeah, this is my beautiful moment.

I was sitting reading my journal from earlier in the year… it’s something I do to reflect…… and I came across an entry  from near my birthday. I was describing being called beautiful.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I have found that it is one word that while wonderful to be called, can hold a whole lot of meanings or feeling behind it.

I have been called beautiful by plenty of men…. despite which I still wonder if I really am beautiful because what I see in the mirror sometimes is meh.  How I look isn’t what makes me feel beautiful. Sometimes for me, wearing Stetson for men, a string of pearls and having my hair in a simple updo makes me feel so incredibly beautiful in my own mind, that’s all that matters.  But having a man call me beautiful is a rather interesting thing.

First there is Boris. Boris is fire and ice and extremes. He calls me beautiful, gorgeous and such regularly. It’s his greeting. It’s his way. His way makes me feel like I am the sexiest young woman ever. Okay, I’m not young anymore, but well, I still don’t feel like a woman. I am one….okay, I can go with lady better.  Considering he calls me young lady all the time too.  His beautiful is like stepping into pure heat and desire.  I can’t explain it.

Then there was Neeko.  Darling boy. I mentioned him earlier in the year.  What I wrote in my journal was, ” He calls me beautiful and it feels like pure sunshine happiness. Not sexy, but like I’ve stepped into a rainbow. Gooey inside. Unexpected. Undemanding. Nick is daisies and buttercups and sugar sweet.”  Maybe it was safety, but I felt like me with Neeko. I didn’t have to impress or be any more than me. Something I struggle with. I’m always worried about someone’s opinion, but with Neeko I could just be, like I had stepped into a meadow….. Bella’s meadow.

More recently there is someone that calls me various forms of beautiful, but it’s weird.  I can’t put my finger on it….okay, maybe I can. I am not interested in this guy, and he says he’s not in me, because he’s in his mid fifties, but sometimes I get this weird vibe that makes me kind of shudder. I sit there and think to myself…’no, please don’t call me anything endearing.’ It’s one of those disturbing moments in life where what someone says to you makes you feel so uncomfortable.

I think who we know that calls us beautiful means something different from each person. Sweet, sexy, disturbing…… And various other feelings.  Sometimes I smile and giggle insanely when I’m called beautiful. Other times I take it in stride.   I have to say that a sunshine and daisies beautiful is like eating the best brownie, and the fire and ice extremes beautiful is like that first sip of whiskey.  It’s sexy in it’s own way.  Sunshine and daisies, which I am not a person who would ever really go for that vibe, is really, really nice.  And it’s so hard to explain….. Okay, wait, I just read what I wrote. One is safe while the other has me in a constant state of alert.

Hmmm. Rather interesting, isn’t it? Do I know which one I want? I tend to go for sweet because at the end of the day, the safe is nice, steady. Comfortable. But that being said, the extreme and sexy is well, adventurous and exciting. I think a bit of sweet with sexy is really nice.

So what about you, ladies.  Do you have different vibes of beautiful?  What makes you feel beautiful?  Words or your own inner self?  Does something you do make you feel like the goddess you are?

I’d love to know so share with me.  I feel I should add in a One Direction line… but I’ll leave that up to you.



Things That Confuse Men

I started thinking about this subject after  my father looked at me and said my hair is always slightly rats-nest-y.  I told him it was controlled dishevelment.  I’m not sure he believed me.  And watching the Bachelorette this last week where guys had to explain puberty and feminine products and such, in such a hilarious manner…. and recently this marvelous ad for Carefree liners…. oh the things guys just don’t get.



So, things that I find confuse men….

curled hair

My hair today which was actually right how I like it. Not like I have just done my hair but slightly relaxed. Great isn’t it?

1. Hair styles that are controlled dishevelment.  For instance, I dry my hair straight, then curl it, pinning up the curls with hair clips… guys don’t get that and why you have to dry it first, or why you have to curl it before you put your hair up….. After I take out the hair clips, I fluff and tease and spray with magic hair spray.  Then the curls look so natural it’s like you didn’t even do anything.  That. Is. The. Point.  To not look like you were even trying to curl your hair. Like hair just naturally falls that way.  Trust me, guys do not get hair routines.  They do not get why you have to put the hair gel on just so and just right and in such and such an order. But guys, it’s worth it. Does your sweetheart look amazing?  Then trust me, she has probably done some backwards method to get her hair that way.  But it works.


2.  Nail polish and various colors and glitter and creams versus frosts.  Nail polish is nail polish to a guy.  Yellow is yellow and if it just so happens to match your outfit, great.  But why do you need three greens?  Or five sparkle ones, or why do you need this black when you already have a black and honey, don’t you think your collection is large enough?  For me, I can never have too many nail polishes.  Right now my father has indulged me with them, and I have a serious collection that matches all my summer shirts. But he doesn’t get nail polish. He really doesn’t get why I ooh and ahh over the new sparkle polishes filled with glitter.  Men don’t get glitter.  Obviously they have never paid attention that women like shiny things. Glitter is the cheap way to have lots of shine.  And for me, since I can’t indulge in my true passion, shoes, nail polishes work…. which leads me to Number 3…..


3. Shoes.  I still don’t understand why guys are still confused by our love of shoes.  For one, they always tell me that I look good in heels and I have met a lot of men who are legs men. They love to look at legs in a pair of nice heels. So, if that’s the case, um, you need shoes. Duh.  And I’m sure they wonder why you need three pink shoes, but hey, if it’s summer then you need the strappy sandal or the cute kitten heel.  Wedges (which I don’t do) platforms, heels, flats, pink, blue, silver, green, black with stripes, black with zebra print, and various boots with heels, or not or…. I love shoes, I really do. I love to wear them around a guy. I love that they make me a bit taller than my 5’4″ frame. They make me feel sexy. Heck, they make me sexy.  Shoes bring confidence and a feeling of accomplishment. They are what make women sexy.  So why a guy wouldn’t get a woman wanting to be sexy… blows me away. Granted, yeah, they can make our feet hurt, but still… in pain we are still sexy.


Okay, so those are my three things so far that I know confuse guys.  They will shake their heads at certain things and if you discuss it, you can see the blank stares starting. It’s rather funny.


I am curious though, does anyone else know of things that totally confuse guys?  Things that make us uniquely women?  Things that they may like we do, but seriously do not get?  Write me and tell me….. Which means, comment below. :)


Kate (in the glittery pink nail polish)


A Real Life Captain America

In this day and age it isn’t often that you can find someone you truly admire and look up to. There are very few heroes like there used to be and we tend to look to our imaginary superheroes of film or television. Captain America of Marvel fame is quite popular. Embracing the values that made our country great, it’s easy to see why we look at figures like this in awe and respect.  Personally, I’m a huge fan of Captain America.  He embodies the good looking, clean cut, clean life, God fearing, country proud man of the era of WWII, which is obvious since that is his time period.  This is my idea of an ideal man. He had the right qualities, and oh look, he knows how to treat a lady as well.

captain-america-wallpaper-chris-evansBut there are very few men like Captain America. Very few men whom our boys can look up to and have a role model.

Except for maybe one man.

Noah Galloway.

It’s not often that you can look at a man who is ballroom dancing and say, oh, that is someone to admire, but in the case of Noah Galloway, I think he is truly someone to admire. Taking Dancing with the Stars by storm, he has taken the ballroom to new heights and surprised, impressed, and made us all cry.  Who would have ever thought a man missing the limbs on his left side could ever do what he has done every week?

Screen Shot 2015-04-07 at 10.37.26 AM_0Here is a man who was lost out of high school, who saw the two towers being bombed, who decided to sign up to fight for our country.  Who lost his limbs and what was the life he knew in one moment. In one flash everything was gone. He gave his arm and leg for our country. He served our country and fought for our freedom and lost something so personal.  How could anyone who has not been in combat even come close to knowing what this man has gone through.

And yet week after week he danced his heart out, bringing us to tears with his amazing work ethic and self motivation. Here is someone who respects hard work and pushing one’s self. Never giving up even when there were downsides to the dancing. Even though he has never received the highest scores.  Caring for his partner, Sharna Burgess,  in a way that all men should care for a woman, be it friend, mother, sister, lover, etc. He respects women. You can see it in how he treats Sharna.

Here is a man that embodies Captain America.  Who says we need Marvel with a fake hero?  We have a hero right here at home is showing the world what he can do. Pushing himself beyond the boundaries of modern dance.

...... Or the fake shield?

…… Or the fake shield?

Whom would you rather have? A real man like Captain America?......

Whom would you rather have? A real man like Captain America?……

Showing us all that pushing ourselves does get us somewhere.

You want a man for your young son to look up to? Show him Noah Galloway and you are showing him the real Captain America.

I know which captain I would take.


An Open Letter To James M. Sama

Dear James M. Sama,

I’m writing and open letter to you because I can’t send this in person. The irony is this letter is about writing letters. One thing I love about your posts is how you promote chivalry and the right attitude when it comes to dating and relationships.

In this day and age, making contact with prospective suitors is so incredibly easy what with emails, texting, Facebook, etc. Instant gratification is the norm and there is no waiting for a reply anymore. You don’t have to wait days of anticipation for a response. And I think it is that instant  response that has made it so men in particular, don’t have to work to court women. I think it’s our (women’s) own fault. We make it so easy, almost as if we were desperate, to be at the beck and call of a man. I’m not saying this as a cut on men; far from it. I love men and I am looking for a good man. A man who is willing to win my affection. And in the past, which includes up till the past  week, I have been willing to be at the beck and call of any man that shows interest.

What if instead of women giving out their email, we gave out our mailing address instead? Okay, yes, there are stalker guys/girls out there, so instead there is always a work address as well. What if instead of instant gratification of a text or email, you asked a guy to write you a letter and send it to you?

For anyone to send another person a letter, you have to sit down, take some time, and think while you write out a letter. Then you have to wait for a reply. It could be a two day wait if you live a couple hundred miles from each other. It’s still a wait within the city. And what is a day waiting for a real letter when sometimes it takes a person days to write a reply to an email? I am one of those people. I rarely jot off a reply email. Really, email only makes us think we are getting an instant response when in reality it can take as much time.

When my parents were dating, my father, who’s handwriting wasn’t very easy, painstakingly wrote my mother who was working as a nurse at a summer camp several hours away. My mother’s previous fiance wrote her while she was in Africa for a year. When my mom was going to college, a man she was with wrote her letters; poetry.  He never mailed them to her, since they were on the same campus, but he gave them to her.

I called my grandmother today and while my grandfather was in the military during the Korean war, and she was in college, they wrote each other every day. She mailed a letter every day, he sent them almost every day (come to find out, sometimes he would send three at once!)

Courtship was done by letters and rare phone calls.  There was the wait and anticipation and longing that comes from waiting for a letter.

I think we all could stand to slow down and take our time dating and getting to know each other. We need to stop promoting instant gratification, because it leads to having it in other areas of life. If a guy is willing to sit down and write you a letter, especially if you ask, tells you that he is willing to take the time to get to know you.

Now, I will conclude this letter/post by stating that I love email. Underscore love. But even I think I use it too much and need to get back to writing letters even more, and I’m someone that likes writing real letters. Since I have a Post Office box, I think I’m going to attempt to see if a guy will write me instead of email me in the future. It’s just an idea, and I thought you might like it.

All the best to you. I do enjoy your posts and I’m always pleasantly surprised, though I need to stop being that way.



Snow Moustache Season

snow mustache_ editsnow mustache_ word edit

Well it is, isn’t it?

Happy Friday, dearies. Only 5 more days until you should have everything wrapped. I, sadly, still do not have two of my gifts even done! And today I am off to donate blood to the Red Cross. Hey, there you go. Want to give a gift this season that doesn’t cost you anything but really helps out a lot of people? Donate blood at your local Red Cross. There is always a shortage of blood, especially right now. I urge you to consider it.