When Your Online Man Is Taken Off The Market

Ah, singlehood.  It leaves a lot of time to dream about available men and how they just might be your perfect match. And one of the best ways to decide is by looking at single men on tv, films, and the news. Sports also leave plenty of options.

No seriously, the Olympics really gives you an open source of good looking foreign men to drool and dream over.

But what happens when you suddenly find out that one of those guys has been taken off the market by getting married? You want to be happy for him because obviously that means he’s a great catch if he has gotten married, but you don’t want him to get divorced because then that means he’s not worth having, but you are so disappointed to find out that you do not have a chance with him! Oh, the conflict. Oh, the pain and heartbreak that you did not have the chance to show said guy, how great you are.

It’s always a little bit sad when someone you ‘crushed’ over has suddenly been taken out of the game.  Recently, one that hits me the hardest was when I found out Zachary Levi was married.  Beautiful, charming, boyish ‘Chuck’ Zachary Levi. I adore this boy. But he’s married! How could he? How could he not find me?

I still have yet to get over this heartbreak, even though he has been married for….. Okay, Wikipedia has just told me that he lasted all of 6 months being married. Now he’s really not in the marriage mart with the divorce…. I feel like this is Regency England. I need to go to Almacks…

Then there is Colin O’Donoghue…. But he was already married when he started working on Once Upon A Time. But I didn’t find out till he was already acting on the show. It was a sad day when I found out the gorgeous Irish boy was taken.

Recently I have had a thing for news people and young senators and congressmen. I blame it on Emilie Loring. A current interest has been Stephen Dinan of the Washington Times.

He’s like a young Richard Gere. How could you go wrong with that? Then just the other day I saw the ring on his finger! Oh, the ring. It’s so cruel.

Ryan Merriman was how I though my childhood crush would grow up to look like. He sadly didn’t, but Ryan is rather adorable. But Not only is he married, but he’s been married and divorced and re-married!

 

Another is Armi Hammer. Recently he has played Ilia Kuryakin in The Man From U.N.C.L.E., but he’s also been The Lone Ranger and the charming prince in Mirror, Mirror. And he’s married.  Sigh.

I’m sure there are others, but off the top of my head, these are what come to me. It’s always a sad day when I look up a gorgeous actor or congressman, newspaperman to find he is married.

How do you deal with your current famous person crush? What do you do when you find out th

Let’s Get Personal – Why Aren’t You Married

Let’s get personal.

I’m thinking of making this a new segment, or category for my blog. Basically, it’s me just rambling on about more personal things in my life. Things that make me tick.

So here is the subject of today. Being 30+ and not married.

The idea for this post came after Mrs. B was at the hospital for a procedure and met her tech who is 35, not married, and as Mrs. B put it, “cute as a button.” She asked her what she does when people ask the proverbial, ‘why aren’t you married, are you going to get married, and what about kids? questions.” The tech replied that she’s had to get creative and sometimes a bit rude when going to answer that question.

I happen to understand that completely. Ever since I turned 18, or moved to North Northern CA, to this very little town where ‘Everybody knows your name’….. and your business, and your life, and feels like it’s perfectly acceptable to butt into every little detail of your life. And the mothers are always, and I stress always, asking why you aren’t married. And “don’t you want to be married?” and “Oh, you should meet my son/nephew/ friend’s son/ grandson/ my neighbor’s son….. and so on and so on. The men that are 50+ and up pretty much ask the same thing, or versions of, “Why don’t you meet some nice boy” or “I can’t believe some guy hasn’t snatched you up.”

Sigh.

It’s not so much that I mind that they want to set me up, find out why, or whatever, never mind, it does get old, and they don’t understand when you say, “There really aren’t any available men that are good men in this area.” No, seriously, there really are not any good men, that I know of, in this area. I live in a logging, ranching, meth, marijuana, strange area. So the guys are……. well not my type. I come from a city mentality. I come from city life and living and I know it even though I am a ‘farm girl’ in some ways.

So, I’m left trying to figure out how to politely tell these people to mind their own business. In a good girl way. And it happens a lot. Maybe not weekly, but it happens enough that I mentally sigh when someone asks me that. It’s about as bad as when I get asked by all these people when I’m going back to school. IE college. Even though I’m 33. And they knew me when I was 18. Like I said, strange area.

I have yet to figure out a more rude method of diplomacy. That’s an oxymoron. Sorry. There is no way to be politely rude. But sometimes you just really want to tell people to go fly a kite. And then there is the whole ‘haven’t you tried online dating? Because my so-and-so met so-and-so on match.com, you should try it….”   blah blah blah. Yep, I’ve tried online dating. It’s been a real party. Not. I have tried it a couple times, just recently I spent a year on one site without much luck and a lot of hassle. Online dating has the issue of not always being able to meet the person right away. I live in a far off north place and a lot of guys do not want to come meet me. And I expect that, partly because I do not drive. And I don’t think a woman should have to go meet the man. That’s just now how I believe it should be. So yes, I have standards.

So, online dating is tricky. That being said, the tech Mrs. B met, recommended OKcupid. So, well, I might try it. Why not. She said she has heard of more luck there.

See, cause I actually do want to be married. I am not running from marriage, but honestly, it certainly seems like I should have been married 10 times over with how often I get bugged about it. But honestly, it’s not my fault when ……’My dear partner, when what’s left of you gets around to what’s left to be gotten, what’s left to be gotten won’t be worth getting, whatever it is you’ve got left”. …….is what the guys are like these days. (for you good guys, never mind) And for those that are wondering, this quote comes from White Christmas.

The guys are waiting around, it seems till they have had thir fun, and then they will settle down. So, pardon me if I decide to go have a life. But then there is a caveat. If a girl doesn’t sit around waiting to have Prince Charming fall into her lap, then she’s “Too busy to find a guy and it’s her fault if no guy is interested.” But if she sits around doing nothing, then she’s not out looking hard enough or she’s too picky… You really can’t win. It is incredibly frustrating.

So, the teck is not waiting around to meet a guy. She is living a very full life. My cousin is living her life. I am still in limbo because I’m kind of waiting around for my guy, but that being said, I don’t just not live. My life is just a little less active, but that’s how I roll.

But I’m curious…. Single ladies and men out there. How do you deal with the rude question of why aren’t you married? Do you politely change the subject, or do you tell the people to butt out?

I’d love to know.

Counting on a Cowboy – A Review

In the follow-up novel to Debra Clopton’s Betting on Hope, comes Counting on a Cowboy, Bo Monahan’s story.  You have the somewhat confirmed bachelor, Bo, brother to Tru from Betting on Hope, suddenly saddled with a toddler.  A little boy who supposedly came from an indiscretion Bo had with a woman a while ago who never told him about the baby.  Then there is Abby Knightly running from a past, running to ‘hope’ in Wishing Springs, Texas, a place  she read about in the paper.  You have Abby who has lost so much in her life– which I won’t be giving away here since it’s super easy to figure out–a husband and the hope of children. Now you have Bo turning to Abby to help him navigate a baby that has come out of nowhere, and what is better than a woman right there who knows how to take care of children? So you have Bo fighting his attraction for Abby because he’s a bachelor, and Abby fighting her attraction to Bo because she has lost so much and isn’t ready for someone else to be in her life because she still has so much guilt. Will these two ever come together over their mutual attraction and love of Bo’s little boy?

I found this book very hard to get through. I found the writing leaving me wanting to smack my head and just dragging on. I only somewhat understood Bo’s sudden desperation to have Abby help him out with the unexpected baby on his doorstep, but at the same time, it was almost like he was frantic. Then you have Abby who wants to settle down in a small town she has read about, but at the same time, she’s leery about certain things. I just sat there going, get on with it. I don’t understand two people fighting this attraction. I have never been one to hide that I am interested in someone. Granted, I have never had tragedy take a part of me away and ‘mess’ with my own thoughts. So I will give Abby that, but honestly, you can see right away that she likes Bo. So why run from that? It’s not like anyone said you had to marry the man right away. I’m a little tired of all these leery females. I get why a woman might be leery if she liked a man whom she thought liked someone else, but seriously, don’t act so scared all the time.

Unfortunately, I have to give this book only 3 out of five stars. It’s too slow and just not my cup of tea.  Just like Debra Clopton’s previous book, this left me exhausted.

Kate

This book was sent to me free of charge by HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Thomas Nelson, and BookLookBloggers for my honest review. I have in no way been compensated in any way.

Waiting Here For You: An Advent Journey of Hope – A Review

During the holiday season, we are so focused on the holiday in general that we forget what the true season of Christmas is about. Waiting Here For You: An Advent Journey of Hope by Louie Giglio is an advent devotion book meant to help us slow down, stop, and reflect what Christmas and the advent are really about. Each day starting with November 26th, Paster Giglio guides us in scripture, a reflection relating to the scripture, meditation (which is usually a Christmas poem or song) and finally a prayer.  So 30 days of thinking about how we are waiting for Christ  and the remembrance of his birth, which for Christians, is a very sacred time of year.  So, when we get a little too busy with buying the gifts, preparing the Christmas meals and dealing with family and travel and all the frustrations that may come, this very thing, almost pocket sized book is just right for pulling out. Lighting a candle and meditating and focusing on Christ.

Christmas lights on Aleksanterinkatu. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have loved advent since I was a little girl when we would read the Christmas story through the four weeks of December, lighting a green candle each week for the wise men, Mary and Joseph, The shepherds, the angels, and finally a red candle for Jesus. There were the colorful calendars and it was a very memorable and sacred time of year for me. I eagerly looked forward to it. As time as gone by, I have slowly let that slipe away, and this book is perfect for putting you right back into the calming frame of mind of what Christmas is really about. While I am terrible at devotions and having a daily schedule for reading my Bible, and I didn’t technically finish this book in a daily order, it’s still a lovely small book, perfect for the season. There is something incredibly calming about the red, black, white and grey colors of the book. So calming in fact that I ended up writing a sonnet about red berries with the colors of black, white and grey. This book is perfect for any Christian that want to get back to what advent is about. I love it’s slim size and I love that the meditations are songs I know, but may not know all the lyrics. I liked that it was a very Christmas themed book in that it had the traditional songs that Christians know for the season. From Oh Come All Ye Faithful, O Come Oh Come Emmanuel, Silent Night, and O Holy Night. Lovely hymns Christians know and love.

I would highly recommend this book to any Christian who wants do practice adven but feels too old for the calendars and childish themes. This is a lovely book. Five out of Five stars.

Kate

This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest opinion and review from HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Thomas Nelson, and BookLookBloggers.

My Ambitious January Reading List (and lack of writing motivation)

Hello and Happy New Year! Though according  to Jimmy Kimmel, you can’t say Happy New Year anymore after the premier of The Bachelor.  And since I have started that as well, hmmm……. Happy January?

I have found myself slightly uninspired to write, though it’s not actually that I’m uninspired, but I just can’t seem to get out any ideas. They are there as I try to write a poem with ‘whispers’ as the prompt.  I have yet to come up with anything more than two or three lines. I drift on ideas of winter and snow and cold. See? It’s all there. The ideas are there because I know about all three things that could inspire, but I just don’t have anything good coming from it. I might need to ask my friend to give me another prompt.

But currently, I’m spending more time reading. I spent December reading a couple Emilie Loring’s and fluff books….. Okay Libba Bray‘s The Diviners was far from fluff, and a little enjoyably disturbing.  Anyhow, somehow I got on a non fiction craze and did I pick small books? No. Not even light.  The only fiction book is The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick. That is something I decided to try after seeing several ads for the new Amazon show. I decided to try out the book after seeing that. It looked terribly interesting, and the book is, though I can’t say I really like Mr. Dick’s style of writing. It’s different. And well, he’s a guy. I’m used to how women write. If a woman wrote this book, it would have been three times as thick and full of a lot more descriptions.  But it’s a horrifying look (though so far it’s not horribly gruesome, just mentally disturbing) at what would have happened if Japan and Germany won WWII.  I think it’s rather inventive, but also a little more science fiction-y. I mean, draining the Mediteranean Sea to become farmland? I’d really like to know how in the world even with atomic power, that would have even been possible. And really, a whole holocaust of Africa? So it’s a bit of a stretch, in my opinion, but it’s still interesting.

The Essays of Christopher Hitchens are what started me reading about JFK, but I have to say, the essays are nice because they are short, so I can read one or two before bed. But it is also informative. I’m currently reading one about Evelyn Waugh.

Radical by Maajid Nawaz was because of seeing him on several news broadcasts and pundit shows.  I love listening to him because he sounds just like Sean McGuire from Once Upon A Time. (He’s Robin Hood)  But his book is interesting in this critical time.

Cost of Courage is about people in the French Resistance during WWII. And the rest  of the books pretty much explain themselves except for the one Once Upon a Secret which is about one of the women JFK had an affair with.

I might overdue it, but well, sometimes it’s good to branch out of general fiction. My ‘to read’ pile is huge and I really should start on it and finish things. I have my stupid Christian romance I need to review and get off my mind. I really wish it wasn’t like swallowing nails as I read. (not that I’ve ever swallowed nails) I just want to shoot my foot or something. It’s bad. Really bad.

So, now, off to read more thick books.  What are you reading this January?  Do you have your book lists for the year? I have seen lots of people online and on Facebook posting about there reading lists for the year or just currently reading. I guess it is a January thing. Like New Year’s Resolutions.  Do you have a resolution this year?  I don’t really, other than to be more tidy. Ha! That will be a challenge.

Happy Reading, dearies.

Kate