Who am I? Do I show my true self in life? Sometimes I wonder as I make my way
through life and interact with the public, friends, family, and at home.
I joked with someone recently that I don’t swear in public because I have this persona I’m trying to keep up, in which case this person replied “Oh, street cred.” That is completely it. In public I am the good girl. The girl that might be a bit prissy but mothers love. I love to be polite and kind and well dressed, even if I’m in just jeans and a t-shirt.
But that is who I am really. At home I might swear a bit more than I should. I know, Boris, you don’t like me swearing. Sometimes certain words just get my point across just right, though I never use the ‘F’ word or the ‘C’ word or any combination of those nasty things. I totally get a lady should talk like a lady.
With friends I’m more apt to say what I think. With family, I tend to say whatever I think. With the public…. I’m terribly, horribly diplomatic. Almost too much.
But who am I? I am that super girly girl who has painted nails and jewelry on all the time. I wear high heels and love it. I wear frilly dresses and have my hair just so. I have a book in one hand and a cup of coffee (always coffee) in the other. Picture upper class priss. That’s my inner me.
I don’t get to be that me very often. The most I can do is have the nails painted, the heels on, and the book in one hand… I get comments if I wear low heels, shorts and have scarf around my neck. Because I live where that is super dressed up. (not in my mind, but well, ranching community)
I would my true self in public. I like that aspect. I like being ultra feminine and girly. I would if I could. This is how you would see me if I lived in the city and did not have to worry about mud and dirt and no sidewalks and funky houses and growing and farm animals.
Most people wouldn’t get this about me, but I just think that Boris’s statement that I am a princess, is pretty accurate.
And I’m okay with that. (oh, pardon a glasses wearing princess. I happen to adore my glasses.)